That’s how Johan Cruyff once described Ruud van Nistelrooy. An accurate description, perhaps. But also a humiliating one. At least that’s how Ruud himself perceived it. He had always wanted to be more than ‘just’ a finisher. He repeatedly insisted that he could do more than ‘just’ score goals. Opinions were divided. The debate that ensued perfectly highlighted the remarkable role in soccer of the ‘goalscorer’.

Superficially, soccer is about scoring goals. The man who scores the winning goal is the star of the night. TV-commentators will shout his name. Fans inside the stadium will dedicate their songs to him. His image will grace next morning’s newspapers.

But behind that facade of attention and stardom, there’s something missing. And even the greatest of goalscorers know it. Like Van Nistelrooy, they crave to be seen as more than just a goal poacher. To be valued for more than just tapping a ball over the line.

Football connoisseurs often view goalscorers with a hint of disdain. “Oh, all he can do is finish. He’s not a real footballer.” These experts then proceed to praise the true masters over the ball. The masterminds. The geniuses. The artists. Those, they claim, are the real footballers. That some of the greatest of these ‘artists’ – Cruyff, Socrates – have been denied World Cup glory because of the brutal efficiency of poachers like Gerd Müller and Paolo Rossi, only heightens the loathing many feel for the ‘finisher’.

The conflict between the artist and the finisher is essentially a subset of the eternal struggle between those who love football as an art, and those who primarily look at results. If you’re in the latter category, Van Nistelrooy’s 382 goals leave no room for doubt: he was a brilliant player. For those in the former group – watch the following video and ask yourself if there’s not beauty to be found in many of these wonderful finishes.

If none of this makes any sense to you, you’re part of a vast majority. The Unofficial Football World Championships (UFWC) are so obscure that the North-Koreans themselves probably don’t even know they’re the world’s number one. If so, Kim Jong Un’s Minister of Information has missed out on an excellent opportunity for a propaganda campaign.

So what is this ‘UFWC’? It’s, essentially, a virtual crown invented by a couple of resourceful lovers of football history. They asked themselves: what if football had a World Championship system similar to boxing, where the reigning champion has to defend his title in every next match? They then looked at the first international match ever played and did their calculations from there.

It turns out that title contest number one, Scotland vs England in 1872, was a dire encounter that ended 0-0, so no ‘World Championship Belt’ can be awarded retrospectively. Fortunately, a few months later England and Scotland met again. This time the English won 4-2, thereby crowning themselves the first World Champions in football – 57 years before the inaugural FIFA World Cup.

A year later, the Scots took revenge. They beat England and started a 15 year long spell of absolute dominance of the UFWC. Indeed, Scotland and England have still won more title matches than anyone else – for the simple reason that the early stages of international football were essentially a British affair.

But as the Beautiful Game expanded its scope, so the virtual crown of the UFWC inevatibly left British, and later European shores, making an epic journey across the globe. A journey spanning 139 years, six continents and dozens of different countries. Brazil, Germany and Argentina are, of course, on the list of former title holders. But the charm of this award is that not just football juggernauts stand a chance of becoming World Champions. Countries like Costa Rica, Georgia and Zimbabwe have all been number one as well. Or what so think of the Dutch Antilles – with its 200,000 inhabitants – taking the title from Mexico after a glorious win in 1963?

Another classic is the 1950 World Cup encounter between England and USA. The English were seen as the world’s greatest team. The Americans played with a group of students. America’s shocking 1-0 victory was deemed so improbable that several British newspapers, after receiving a notice of the result, assumed a typo had been made and, the next morning, reported a 10-1 win for England.

Eleven years later, Argentina were the proud Champions of the World. Until they were beaten by a Spain side that featured Argentina’s very own Alfredo di Stefano. The Blonde Arrow may never have won the World Cup, he certainly was a World Champion.

Among the 800 different title matches contested over the past 139 years there have been obscure friendlies played for a handful of people who probably weren’t aware of the historic occasion But among the 800 matches are also seven World Cup Finals, including the most recent one: Holland vs Spain in 2010. Holland in fact were the reigning World Champions in all of their three World Cup finals. And lost that title in all three matches.

Interestingly, no team that has begun a FIFA World Cup as Unofficial World Champions, have ended up winning the Tournament. Holland, again, have the saddest story to tell: in both 1974 and 2010 they began as World Champions and made it all the way to the final with their status in tact. Only to fail on the last moment.

Clearly, if North-Korea are serious about winning the 2014 World Cup, they would be wise to lose at least once until the start of the World Cup.

See for more information: http://www.ufwc.co.uk

The king of the backheel pass and the symbol of Brazil’s beautiful 1982 side had been in poor health for quite a while. He was taken up into the hospital twice over the last few months, but managed to recover each time.

Not this time. After eating stroganoff with his wife and a good friend, all three fell ill. While his wife and friend quickly recovered, Socrates’ weakened body couldn’t handle the intestinal infection. He was taken into the intensive care once again, but a septic shock claimed his life in the early hours of Sunday morning.

Socrates leaves behind a wife and six children. And millions of saddened admirers of the football he used to play.

4Dfoot posted a short biography on Socrates last month: http://www.4dfoot.com/2011/10/23/socrates-needs-a-new-liver-and-remains-a-contradiction/

But how do Pep Guardiola’s men measure up against the legendary Milan that won two successive European Cups in 1989 and 1990?

The monopoly on European football that Barcelona enjoys today, mirrors the iron grip AC Milan had over Europe in the late 80′s.

The coach who built up that all conquering Milan – Ariggo Sacchi – believes his old side was superior to the current Barcelona.

His exact wordss leave little room for nuance. “I coached the best team in history”.

Is he right? A comparison of the achievements both sides have recorded gives us the definitive answer.

There’s no doubt that Sacchi’s Milan belongs to the best sides in history. Starring Rijkaard, Gullit and Van Basten, and a host of Italian greats like Baresi, Maldini and Donadoni, they dominated European football. But so has Barcelona since Pep’s arrival in 2008. So which of the teams was better for its time?

While it’s always tempting to look at the line-ups and do a player-for-player comparison, that would directly conflict with the whole reason why these sides were so good in the first place: both achieved a perfect synthesis of the collective and the individual. The greatest accomplishment of both Sacchi and Guardiola is convincing their star players that they can shine brightest when doing their duty to the team.

Messi is undoubtedly the world’s greatest player, but it’s Barcelona’s teamplay that is allowing Messi to put his genius on display – as evidenced by his inability to demonstrate his world’s best player-status in the Argentina national team.

The best way to judge their quality, then, is through a comparison of achievements by these two teams.

Barcelona vs AC Milan in Europe

Both Sacchi’s Milan and Pep’s Barca boys have won Europe’s prime competition twice. But in Sacchi’s days, the European Cup was a weakened competition compared to today’s Champions League.

First, only league winners participated in the European Cup. Today’s Champions League features all the great sides of Europe, including four teams from each of England, Germany, Spain and Italy. In Sacchi’s days, many of the best teams were playing in the UEFA Cup or Cup Winners Cup. Sacchi’s Milan itself was a participant of the UEFA Cup in the 1987/88 season – where they incidentally got knocked out by Espanyol.

Second, after the Heysel Drama, all English teams were banned from playing Europe between 1986 and 1990.

As a result, the European Cup was a smaller, shorter, weaker and less prestigious tournament than today’s Champions League. That’s why between 1986 and 1988, small sides such as Steaua, Porto and PSV Eindhoven could grab the trophy. It’s why Milan was faced with the champion of Romania (Steaua) and Portugal (Benfica) in their two European Cup finals. Absolutely unthinkable today.

But Milan’s biggest claim to fame isn’t just winning the finals, it’s that famous trouncing of Real Madrid.

But beating Madrid is hardly something that can impress Pep Guardiola’s Barcelona, which has made a habit of beating Los Blancos. In addition, Guardiola’s Barcelona have recorded famous victories over Bayern Munich, Chelsea, Manchester United, Arsenal, Inter, Arsenal (again), Manchester United (again) and AC Milan as well as over a dozen wins against ‘smaller’ sides. Milan’s list of victories is decidedly less impressive.

But the difference between the two sides really shows itself when we take a glance at the domestic leagues.

Barcelona vs Milan in national leagues

The Serie A was the world’s strongest league during Sacchi’s era. .But if AC Milan really was the greatest side in history between 1987 and 1991, surely they should’ve been a dominant force in their own national league?

Instead, they ended third in 1989 (12 points behind Inter), second in 1990 (behind Napoli), and once again second in 1991 (behind Sampdoria). Napoli, Inter and Sampdoria were good sides between 89-91. It’s not a disgrace to lose out to sides of such quality – unless you’re claiming the crown of “the best team of all time”. Then, you’re held to a higher benchmark. You’re expected to dominate all opposition – especially local reivals.

Meanwhile, Guardiola’s Barcelona has won three La Liga’s in a row, in the face of a star-studded Real Madrid that is not just a better team anything Milan faced in Italy, but is itself breaking records – and only lacks the recognition it deserves because it keeps getting beat by Barcelona.

It’s precisely Barcelona’s ability of simultaneously dominating the Champions League and La Liga, that makes it, without question, a superior side to Sacchi’s Milan.

In 2006, Spanish authorities uncovered a wide doping network around doctor Eufemiano Fuentes. Most big name cyclists from around the world were implicated. Jan Ullrich, Ivan Basso – even the young Alberto Contador. But the great shock wasn’t that cyclists were using drugs to ride faster. Everyone had known about that for decades.

The real interesting part of the case, which is known as Operacion Puerta was the report that not just cyclists were on the list. As doctor Fuentes himself admitted: he had also ‘worked’ with tennis players.

And with footballers.

Doctor Fuentes observed how strange it was that cyclists were prosecuted and their names published in the media, but that the tennis and football stars were left alone. Were they being protected?

Since then, rumours of a cover-up, of Spain’s government wanting to protect its national sporting heroes, have repeatedly surfaced. Certainly, it’s interesting that the big four sports in Spain – Football, Cycling, Tennis and Basketball – have been absolutely dominated by Spanish athletes in recent years. A coincidence? Perhaps. But a lack of hard evidence means most media and people would rather not talk about it.

But in the last week, two people have come out. First the French former tennis great Yannick Noah. In Le Monde, he stated the following:

“In my time, French athletes didn’t look ridiculous, far from it, against our Spanish friends. Same on the football fields, the basket halls or on the roads of the Tour de France. Today they are running faster than us, are much more stronger and only leave us the bread crumbs. Compared to them, it’s simple, we look like dwarves. Are we missing something?”

One question keeps coming back to me: how can a nation dominate virtually overnight the sport in such a way ? Did they discover some avant-garde techniques or training facilities that nobody before them had imagined? I have searched and didn’t find any documented evidence of such innovations. Today, sports are a bit like Astérix at the Olympic Games: if you don’t have the magic potion, it’s hard to win. And here it looks like, just like Obelix, they fell right down in the potion pot. Lucky guys.”

It’s hard to argue with his observation. But he could be explained away as a jealous Frenchman. In comes Oscar Pereiro Sio, a Spanish ex-cyclist. Yesterday, He declared the following:

“Zidane has admitted that he had a blood transfusion in Switzerland to regenerate his body. In cycling that is a doping positive. Hopefully one day Fuentes will have the courage to tell everything he knows. In Operación Puerto there were a lot of blood bags labelled European Championships. There are no European Championships in cycling.”

Add to these statements the report that Fuentes is supposed to have said “If I would talk, the Spanish football team would be stripped of the 2010 World Cup”, and you’ve got to wonder: to what degree are Spain’s football triumphs related to doping? Does football have a doping problem?

Alex Ferguson

Vicente del Bosque

Felipe Scolari

Louis van Gaal

Telê Santana

Cesare Maldini

Fabio Capello

Arsene Wenger

Mario Zagallo

Rinus Michels

Harry Redknapp

Bobby Robson

Marcello Lippi

Bill Shankly

Ernst Happel

Rafa Benitez

Otmar Hitzfeld

Guus Hiddink

Marcelo Bielsa

Giovanni Trapattoni

Bob Paisley

Raymond Domenech

But on closer inspection, the seperated head that tumbled into the basket was that of Maximilien Robespierre. The leader of the revolution had just been executed by the revolutionaries. The man who had begun the Reign of Terror to crush all opposition against the revolution, had become the victim of his own creation.

A similar thing, although less bloody, has now occured at Ajax. Only a few months ago Johan Cruyff successfully led a revolution at the Dutch club that once dominated European football. Together with four newly appointed commissaries, Cruyff was given the mandate to reform Ajax. But now these commissaries, the very people chosen to carry out Cruyff’s vision, have worked behind his back to install Louis van Gaal – Cruyff’s eternal nemesis – as Ajax’s new president. Cruyff will have no choice but to leave. Devoured by his own revolution.

The full story on Cruyff’s revolution at Ajax contains more dramatic moments, conspiracies and plot twists than a Dan Brown novel. In fact, a book has already been published on the subject. But it doesn’t feature the climactic shock ending scene that unfolded today: Cruyff being stabbed in the back, and his biggest enemy crowned as the new king.

“Everybody has to leave”
Certainly, nobody could have predicted that this would be the result when Cruyff began his revolution, 13 months ago. It was then that Cruyff, after witnessing another terrible game from Ajax, called for everybody at Ajax – coach, directors, commisaries – to leave. Immediately. Ajax CEO Rick van den Boog had other ideas. He said he pitied Cruyff for being a sour pessimist stuck in the past. Van den Boog would soon discover his mistake. Cruyff was still very much a force in the present. The former number 14 mobilized significant support and forced Van den Boog to change his position. The CEO, desperate to save his job, suddenly invited Cruyff to talk about how to reshape Ajax.

The result of their meetings: Cruyff was given the task to research the entire Ajax organisation and then write a report on what needed to change. Cruyff did exactly that. His report called for radical measures: everyone responsible for the failure of the last few years was to be fired. The new men in charge would be a super trio of ex-players: Dennis Bergkamp, Frank de Boer and Wim Jonk.

However, Van den Boog came out and said he didn’t agree with the report because he considered it ‘inhumane to fire so many valuable people’ and that nothing would change, and that was that. Meanwhile he had also told Bergkamp and Jonk (youth coaches at that time) they would be fired for “undermining the peace” at Ajax.

Cruyff was absolutely furious. he realized that all of it had been a trick. A method to delay time, to get Cruyff off his back for a while, in the hope that better Ajax results would diminish the criticism. Van den Boog had hoped that Cruyff, as so often before, would give up and take the first plane back to Barcelona. But this time, Cruyff was here to stay.

“I know more than anyone, so I decide everything”
Cruyff now declared war on all the directors. Using his powers as honorary member, he organized new elections for the special member council and had a number of his supporters elected into this council. The newly elected special member council then called for a rare meeting of the all members council, a body capable of voting directors out.

While that was being arranged, a huge media war ensued between the pro-Cruyff side and the anti-Cruyff side. Newspapers took sides, famous people gave their opinions, internet forums blew up. Van den Boog made a great move when he leaked conversations he had secretly recorded with Cruyff to the media, where Cruyff is heard saying stuff like “I know more about football than anyone, so it’s logical that I decide everything that happens”, or emails from Cruyff’s agent where it’s said “do what we tell you to, or Cruyff’s international network will destroy you. You wouldn’t be the first” or “Cruyff will decide things from behind the scenes. Just like he’s done at Barcelona, and look what happened there”.

This caused public opinion to turn against Cruyff and his ‘desire for power’. But then it was shockingly revealed that the idea to record and leak the converationns came from a PR company that Van den Boog, using Ajax’s money, had hired to win this media battle. A company that’s also employed by third world dictators. So now popular opinion switched again, against Van den Boog and pro-Cruyff. During the next Ajax home game, the vast majority of Ajax fans in the stadium started singing pro-Cruyff songs. Van den Boog knew he had lost. Just before the all-members council was to convene, Van den Boog announced his departure. The member council then accepted that Cruyff should lead the changes, and be installed on the board of commissaries, along with four other people chosen to support his vision. Now, finally, Cruyff could start rebuilding Ajax into a club of international stature.

“They’ve all gone mad”
But from the first day very, there was trouble brewing between Cruyff and the other four commissaries. Cruyff believed that since he had been the driving force behind the revolution, he should take all the decisions. The other four disagreed. As they kept blocking Cruyff’s decisions, an unworkable stalemate developed. Convening behind his back, the four secretly opened talk with Cruyff’s greatest enemy, Louis van Gaal, to become the new Ajax CEO, knowing that such a move would render Cruyff impotent. They waited until Cruyff had flown back to his house in Barcelona and then called for a meeting where they officially appointed Van Gaal. Cruyff was only informed afterwards. “They’ve all gone mad” was his first response.

Robespierre could have said the exact same thing. They’re the words of a man who knows his role has been played out.

But in the endless soap that is the struggle for power at Ajax, who knows what’s still to come?

That’s also what Dutch journalist Bert Nederlof thought. With the Holland vs Northern Ireland World Cup qualifier approaching, Nederlof was assigned the task to write a portrait of George Best. Nederlof flew to London to watch Best with his new club Fulham against Southhampton. After 90 minutes, Nederlof had seen enough. He wrote that Best was a fallen superstar who was no longer able to do what it takes to be a good footballer. Nederlof would soon regret those words.

A few hundred miles away, British journalist Bill Elliot was traveling with the Irish squad to the stadium where they’d meet Holland. And the Orange squadand their captain Johan Cruyff, in 1976 was synonymous with greatness. Elliot asked Best what he thought of Cruyff. “Outstanding”. “Better than you?”. George looked at the journalist and laughed. ‘You’re kidding aren’t you? I tell you what I’ll do tonight… I’ll nutmeg Cruyff first chance I get.”

What follows is Elliot’s descriptio. “Five minutes into the game Best received the ball wide on the left. Instead of heading towards goal he turned directly infield, weaved his way past at least three Dutchmen and found his way to Cruyff who was wide right. He took the ball to his opponent, dipped a shoulder twice and slipped it between Cruyff’s feet. As he ran round to collect it and run on he raised his right fist into the air.

Only a few of us in the press box knew what this bravado act really meant. Johan Cruyff the best in the world? Are you kidding? Only an idiot would have thought that on this evening.”

While there doesn’t exist video evidence of this historic scene, Nederlof confirms that Best had played an absolutely incredible match, inspiring small Northern Ireland to a 2-2 draw against the best team in the world. “After the game, I caught the eye of the Dutch coach, Jan Zwartkruis. He gave me the most cold stare I’ve ever witnessed. Perhaps I shouldn’t have told him before the game that Best was nothing to worry about”.

The challenge with ‘best ever’ formations is selecting the best players without creating a ridiculous team that has 11 strikers or playmakers. The objective is to make a line-up that can actually work.

That means making hard choices. You can’t have Zidane, Cruyff, Maradona, Platini, Zico and Di Stefano all in one team. Only retired players are included, so that, at least, saves me a head ache over Messi’s position.

So who made the cut?

The formation chosen is a traditional 3-4-3 with a diamond on midfield. Why? Because it’s the most attractive formation possible that still works – as Barcelona have recently demonstrated. It sacrifices two side backs, which historically have not been the greatest players, for a classy libero and an extra creative midfielder. It also means the width has to come from two dedicated wingers, which are some of the most interesting and dangerous players football has to offer.

So here’s the team.

The first positions I filled were the two wingers. There can be little debate about this one: Garrincha and George Best are the two greatest. Both may have drunk themselves to death, but in their peak form there were no better dribblers than these two. Matthews, Rensenbrink, Jairzinho and Gento were brilliant wingers as well, but couldn’t quite toy with defenders like Best and Garrincha could. Modern football is all about an organized defense, but there is no tactical system that can withstand wingers who just dribble past 3 defenders.

Having two wingers means only one striker. Pelé. Next. Midfield is more complicated. Zico, Platini and Zidane were all fabulous players, but just a notch behind Cruyff, Maradona and Di Stefano, all three of which are main stays in any list of the top 5 greatest players ever.

What’s great about Cruyff and Di Stefano is that, although they played as strikers on paper, in reality they were more like midfielders, wandering the field at will, working for the team, and creating play from any position. They’d often organize the defense first before heading forward to score goals. Their defensive discipline means there’s no need for more defensive reinforcement beyond Beckenbauer. His longevity, leadership and immense trophy haul puts him above Rijkaard.

In defense, Baresi gets a free pass as the greatest Libero of all time. The Milan-legend is flanked by two man-marking defenders: Paulo Maldini and Bobby Moore. In the unlikely case that they slip up, the legendary Yashin will defend the goal.

And that concludes the greatest team possible. Do you disagree? Feel free to post your own formation.