An ever-growing collection of the greatest quotations, sayings and citations related to football.

Truths about Football: Art, War, Joy, Slavery and Love

“Football has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence: in other words it is war minus the shooting.”
George Orwell

“I fell in love with football as I would later fall in love with women: suddenly, uncritically, giving no thought to the pain it would bring.”
Nick Hornby (Opening sentence of Horny’s book Fever Pitch)

“An artist in my eyes, is someone who can lighten up a dark room. I have never and will never find difference between the pass from Pele to Carlos Alberto in the final of the World Cup in 1970 and the poetry of the young Rimbaud. There is in each of these human manifestations an expression of beauty which touches us and gives us a feeling of eternity.”
Eric Cantona

“It was like seducing the most beautiful woman in the world. And then failing on the moment for which you did it all.”
Socrates (After Brazil’s wonderful 1982 side was beaten by Italy)

“The bacillus of efficiency has also attacked football, and some dare to ask what’s the point in playing well. I feel tempted to tell about the time they dared to ask Borges what is poetry for, to which he answered: ‘What is a sunrise for? What are caresses for? What is the smell of coffee for?’”
Jorge Valdano

“Some people tell me that we professional players are slaves. Well, if this is slavery, give me a life sentence.”
Bobby Charlton

“Rugby is a game for barbarians played by gentlemen. Football is a game for gentlemen played by barbarians.”
Oscar Wilde

“Everywhere has its irremediable national catastrophe, something like a Hiroshima. Our catastrophe, our Hiroshima, was the defeat by Uruguay in 1950.”
Nelson Rodrigues (Brazilian playwright)

“A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.”
Bill Shankly

“If God had wanted us to play football in the sky, He’d have put grass up there.”
Brian Clough on the long-ball game

“Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans win.”
Gary Lineker

“Playing against a defensive opponent is just as bad as making love to a tree.”
Jorge Valdano

“A penalty is a cowardly way to score.”
Pelé

Displays of Genius

“A classico is a classico and vice versa.”
Mario Jardel

“I don’t believe in superstitions. I just do certain things because I’m scared in case something will happen if I don’t do them.”
Michael Owen

“It was a game of two halves and we were rubbish in both of them.”
Brian Horton

“That’s great, tell him he’s Pelé and get him back on.”
Manager John Lambie when told his concussed striker did not know who he was.

Coach: “Garrincha, you need to train your left foot so you can shoot with both feet.
Garrincha: “But if I shoot with both my feet I’ll fall on the ground”

“Heurelho, guess who’s PSV”s new captain? Me. I finally got the armband”
Alex da Costa to Heurelho Gomes, after receiving a black armband to commemorate a deceased PSV legend.

“I couldn’t settle in Italy – it was like living in a foreign country”
Ian Rush

Footballers and coaches on footballers and coaches

“That lad must have been born offside.”
Sir Alex Ferguson on Filippo Inzaghi

“He scores the most beautiful goals, but he doesn’t have any qualities.”
Johan Cruyff on Filippo Inzaghi

“One of the greatest things I see in Sócrates is his ability to play better football backwards than when facing the front. In that area he’s unique.”
Pelé on Sócrates

“He can’t kick with his left foot, he can’t head a ball, he can’t tackle and he doesn’t score many goals. Apart from that he’s all right.”
George Best on David Beckham

“Beyond everything else, no ball ever had a better experience than when it was at his left foot.”
Jorge Valdano on Diego Maradona

“He wears a No. 10 jersey. I thought it was his position, but it turns out to be his IQ.”
George Best on Paul Gascoigne

“I can be a new Di Stefano, but I can’t be a new Pelé. He is the one that goes beyond the limits of logic.”
Johan Cruyff on Pelé

“His weakness is that he doesn’t think he has any”
Arsene Wenger on Alex Ferguson

“If he were in ‘Star Trek’, he’d be the best player in whatever solar system he was in”
Ian Wright on Dennis Bergkamp

“Pelé is a poet as long as he stays silent”
Romario on Pelé

“Figo wasn’t skiing while his team was still in the Champions League, and there’s the difference.”
Ex-Real Madrid coach Carlos Queiroz on David Beckham’s lack of fitness during Euro 2004

“Don’t turn on your vacuum cleaner when Robben is on TV. Good chance he’ll fall over.”
Ruud Gullit on Arjen Robben

“Alex Ferguson is the best manager I’ve ever had at this level. Well, he’s the only manager I’ve actually had at this level.”
David Beckham on Sir Alex Ferguson

“He does not know how to admit his own failures.”
Cristiano Ronaldo on José Mourinho

“Zlatan is exceptional in that he is skilled despite being tall. Usually tall players are clumsy. I think because the distance between their feet and brains is so large.”
Co Adriaanse on Zlatan Ibrahimovic

“He is a great goalscorer. But a poor footballer.”
Johan Cruyff on Ruud van Nistelrooy

“He does something great once a month. But with his talent he should be the star every single game.”
Johan Cruyff on Dennis Bergkamp

“One of the most difficult players I have worked with. When he gives 80–90% he is still by far the best, but I want 100%, and he rarely does that. (..) When Michael plays like a dream, a magic illusion, determined to show his extreme abilities, no one in the world comes anywhere near his level.”
Johan Cruyff on Michael Laudrup

“First I went left, he did too. Then I went right, and he did too. Then I went left again, and he went to buy a hot dog.”
Zlatan Ibrahimovic on (his feint) against Liverpool’s Sami Hyypiä

“Gattuso in the Italian National Team? Well, even beautiful cities have a sewer system.”
Peppino Prisco on Gennaro Gattuso

“Mourinho is a coach of titles, not football. Or rather, not a football coach if we understand the sport is a spectacle or entertainment for those who watch it, either at home or live in the stadium.”
Johan Cruyff on José Mourinho

“Mourinho and Benítez have two things in common: a previously denied, hitherto unsatisfied hunger for glory, and a desire to have everything under control. Both of those things stem from one key factor: neither Mourinho nor Benítez made it as a player. That has made them channel all their vanity into coaching. Those who did not have the talent to make it as players do not believe in the talent of players, they do not believe in the ability to improvise in order to win football matches. In short, Benítez and Mourinho are exactly the kind of coaches that Benítez and Mourinho would have needed to have made it as players.”
Jorge Valdano on Benitez and Mourinho

“After his first training session in heaven, George Best, from the favourite right wing, turned the head of God who was filling in at left back.”
Eric Cantona on George Best

“He combines the qualities of the best coach in the world with the most stubborn character that I have worked with in professional football.”
Hristo Stoichkov on Johan Cruyff

“What Zidane can do with a football, Maradona could do with an orange.”
Michel Platini on Zidane and Maradona

“I have a history in football but what is the history of this guy, this midget? He ought to clean his tounge and wash the boots of David Beckham as they are so wet tonight.”
Carlos Alberto on Michael Owen

Modesty

“Actually I never make a mistake, because it takes a huge effort for me to be wrong.”
Johan Cruyff

“In a sense, I’m probably immortal.”
Johan Cruyff

“They say Rome wasn’t built in a day, but I wasn’t on that particular job.”
Brian Clough

“I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one.”
Brian Clough

“My best moment? I have a lot of good moments but the one I prefer is when I kicked the hooligan.”
Eric Cantona

“When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea”
Eric Cantona

“How are England going to win in Germany? It hasn’t happened for 100 years. I have no doubts whatsoever that Germany will quite clearly thrash England. They will easily qualify for the World Cup with this match.”
Germany’s Uli Hoeness ahead of the World Cup qualifier which England won 5-1.

“We are on top at the moment but not because of Chelsea’s financial power. We are in contention for a lot of trophies because of my hard work.”
Jose Mourinho

“He must really think I’m a great guy. He must think that, because otherwise He would not have given me so much. I have a great family. I work in a place where I’ve always dreamt of working. He has helped me out so much that He must have a very high opinion of me.”
Jose Mourinho when asked what he believed God thought about him

“I’ve signed a contract with the Dutch national team until 2006. So I can win the World Cup not once but twice.”
Louis van Gaal

“There are only three great powers in the universe: God in heaven, the pope in the Vatican and Dadá in the great box.”
Dadá Maravilha

“God created me to delight people with goals.”
Romario

“I never realised that in order to become a jockey you have to have been a horse first”
Arrigo Sacchi on his lack of experience as a footballer.

Flashes of Honesty

“For me, heading a ball was similar to touching the ball with your hands.”
Günther Netzer

“My shooting technique is so poor that if someday I score from outside the box, the keeper has to be banned from football.”
Dadá Maravilha

“In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol and it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.”
George Best

“I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.”
George Best

“I retired at age 40 because my daughters looked at me one day and said: ‘Dad, being bald and wearing shorts doesn’t look good together’.”
Alfredo Di Stéfano

“While sitting on the bench you develop strange thoughts. You hope certain team mates play rubbish. Or get an injury. Not a painful one, but one that lasts very long. You feel like a gas station owner hoping that his competitor’s station burns down.”
Richard Witschge

The Charm of Rivalry

“When I’ve got nothing better to do, I look down the league table to see how Everton are getting along.”
Liverpool manager Bill Shankly

“I know this is a sad occasion but I think that Dixie would be amazed to know that even in death he could draw a bigger crowd than Everton can on a Saturday Afternoon.”
Liverpool manager Bill Shankly during Dixie Dean’s funeral

“The only way Everton players will get into Europe this year is if there’s another World War”
Liverpool manager Bill Shankly

“The game had to be played in the afternoon, because the boys from Ajax aren’t allowed to play outside when it’s dark.”
AZ-player Barry van Galen

“The highest educated person at Real Madrid is the woman cleaning the toilets.”
Joan Gaspart, president of Barcelona

“Ach, not the Dutch again. You are all a$$holes anyway and Adolf should have gotten rid of you.”
Lothar Matthaus

Mourinho’s trolls

“I think he is one of these people who is a voyeur. He likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have a big telescope to see what happens in other families. He speaks, speaks, speaks about Chelsea.”
José Mourinho on Arsene Wenger

“I studied Italian five hours a day for many months to ensure I could communicate with the players, media and fans. Ranieri had been in England for five years and still struggled to say ‘good morning’ and ‘good afternoon.’
José Mourinho on Claudio Ranieri

“It is really not my fault if he was considered a loser at Chelsea.”
José Mourinho on Claudio Ranieri

“Ranieri? He’s right in what he says: I am very demanding of myself and I need to win to be secure about things. That’s why I’ve won so many trophies in my career. He, on the other hand, has the mentality of someone who doesn’t need to win and at nearly 70 years old he has won a Supercoppa and another small cup. He’s too old to change his mindset.”
José Mourinho on Claudio Ranieri

“It’s not even a game between me and him. It’s a game where a kid made some statements not showing maturity and respect. Maybe it’s his difficult childhood, no education, maybe it’s the consequence of that.”
Jose Mourinho on Cristiano Ronaldo

“Three years without a Premiership title? I don’t think I would still be in a job.”
José Mourinho on Rafa Benitez

“Wenger has been Arsenal’s coach for 15 years but he hasn’t won even a Carling Cup for six years. Benitez hasn’t won a league title in six years but they continue to keep him as Liverpool’s coach. This is not the Italian mentality. To stay here I must continue winning and do well.”
José Mourinho on Arsene Wenger and Rafa Benitez

“I don’t want him to teach me how to lose 4-0 in a Champions League final because I don’t want to learn that”
José Mourinho on Johan Cruyff

“When I saw Rijkaard entering the referee’s dressing room I couldn’t believe it. When Didier Drogba was sent off, I wasn’t surprised.”
José Mourinho on Frank Rijkaard

“They have a great club. But in 200 years of history they have won the European Cup only once. I have been managing for a few years and I have already won the same amount.”
José Mourinho on Barcelona

“Barcelona is a cultural city with many great theatres and this boy has learned very well. He’s learned play-acting.”
José Mourinho on Lionel Messi

“I have to train with 10 men [to prepare for the Barcelona semi-final], how to play with 10 men, because I go there with Chelsea, I finish with 10, I go there with Inter, I finish with 10 and I have to train to play with 10 men because it can happen again.”
José Mourinho on playing Barcelona

“Up to now we have had two types of coaches. A very small group of coaches who never speak to the referees. After that, there is a bigger group, of whom I am one, who criticise the referees when they make huge errors. And now, with the declaration of Pep the other day, we are entering a new era with a third group, which for the moment includes only him, who criticise the correct decision of the referee.”
José Mourinho on Pep Guardiola

“We were perfect. We would have won this game even with seven men. Maybe with six we would have struggled, but we would have won with seven.”
José Mourinho after his 9-man Inter beat AC Milan

The Legacy of Sir Bobby

“When Gazza was dribbling, he used to go through a minefield with his arm, a bit like you go through a supermarket.”
Bobby Robson

“We didn’t underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought.”
Bobby Robson

“If you count your chickens before they’ve hatched, they won’t lay an egg.”
Bobby Robson

“The first ninety minutes of a football match are the most important.”
Bobby Robson

“He’s very fast and if he gets a yard ahead of himself nobody will catch him.”
Bobby Robson

“I’ve had to come out of the dressing room because I don’t want to get too excited.”
Bobby Robson

“I would have given my right arm to be a pianist.”
Bobby Robson

“Everyone’s got tough games coming up. Manchester United have got Arsenal, Arsenal have got Manchester United and Leeds have got Leeds.”
Bobby Robson

“I’ve only got two words for how we played out there tonight – Not good enough.”
Bobby Robson

“I said to the lads in the dressing room at half time, I said, there was nothing to say.”
Bobby Robson

“Steve Hodge has been unfit for two weeks, well, no, for 14 days.”
Bobby Robson

“We mustn’t be despondent. We don’t have to play them every week – although we do play them next week as it happens.”
Bobby Robson, following Newcastle’s defeat by Arsenal

“Football never surprises you and it never sometimes demoralises you”
Bobby Robson

“We’re taking 22 players to Italy, sorry, to Spain… where are we, Jim?”
Bobby Robson on the 1998 World Cup in France.

Cruyff’s insights

“Football is simple. But nothing is more difficult than playing simple football.”
Johan Cruyff

“To play football well, you need good players. But good players nearly always suffer from a lack of efficiency. They always want to do things more beautifully than strictly necessary.”
Johan Cruyff

“The hardest thing about an easy match is making a weak opponent play poor. A poor player isn’t poor because he tends to kick the ball in his own goal. It’s because when you put intense pressure on him, he loses control. So you have to increase the tempo of the game and he’ll automatically give the ball away.”
Johan Cruyff

“If you play on possession, you don’t have to defend, because there’s only one ball.”
Johan Cruyff

“You have got to shoot, or you can’t score.”
Johan Cruyff

“Technique is not being able to juggle a ball 1000 times. Anyone can do that by practicing. Then you can work in the circus. Technique is passing the ball with one touch, with the right speed, at the right foot of your team mate.”
Johan Cruyff

“When you’re playing against a team that has two great central defenders, the best option is to play without a striker.”
Johan Cruyff

“If you want to play quicker you can start running faster, but it’s the ball that decides the speed of the game.”
Johan Cruyff

“If my forward arrives in a one vs one situation, I always say: ‘let him work it out.’ Then my players say: But we can help him!’. My reply is: First, there’s a good chance you’ll only run in his way, and as a second attacker you’re drawing a second defender with you, and two vs two is harder than one vs one.’”
Johan Cruyff

“At Barcelona I always instructed Koeman to shoot the first free kick into the wall as hard as possible. The next time the players in the wall would be smart enough not to come rushing out again.”
Johan Cruyff

“In small space a player has to be capable of acting quickly. A good player who needs too much time can suddenly become a poor player.”
Johan Cruyff

“A counter-attack can only arise when you make a mistake. That’s why there are rules. A horizontal pass? Prohibited. In my line-up there are as many lines as possible. Because you must have the option to pass the ball forward, even if it’s a meter. Because then I can still make up for the loss of possession. After a horizontal pass this is impossible.”
Johan Cruyff

“Players that aren’t true leaders but try to be, are always bashing other players after a mistake. True leaders on the pitch already assume others will make mistakes.”
Johan Cruyff

“In my teams, the goalie is the first attacker, and the striker the first defender.”
Johan Cruyff